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Sunday, December 16, 2012

What does it mean to me a peaceful mother?


What would it take to be a peaceful mother? Or father?

It has taken my life journey to realise that the only way to really be a peaceful mother is to put myself first. Our children learn from what we do, not what we say.

So, what are we teaching our children if we put them first? Instead of ourselves? What a question to ask, of course, as mothers we have to put our children first. That is our role as mothers, isn't it? Aren't we supposed to feed them, clothe them, cuddle them, educate them, make sure that they have all the opportunities we didn't have? Isn't that what a GOOD mother does? She puts her needs last and everyone else's first? Is is not our role as women and mothers to serve?

That is how we are built, biologically. We carry the children in our womb. We feed them from our breast. We take care of our nest. We serve.

And it is very satisfying, is it not?

Just imagine how different it would all be if you actually put yourself first, before anyone else?

Would you take better care of your body during your pregnancy? Would you slow down your work. And stop trying to please everyone else? Would the baby in your womb be nourished better? Would there be fewer stress hormones being carried to your baby? If you spent the time connecting with yourself in your pregnancy, would your baby feel your joy and peace?

When the child was born, would you put yourself first by resting as much as possible? Would you let the washing pile up? Would you accept the mess all around you. Would you let others prepare all the meals at home for the first year? Would your baby be happier? Would your baby have a better chance at feeling peaceful?

A peaceful mother puts herself first. She sees the big picture. She doesn't sweat the small stuff. She understands that our lives have cycles. That there are times for action. That there are times for rest. She acknowledges her own female cycle. She acknowledges that she cannot work on auto pilot because she is just not built like that. She teaches her family that she is important. That she is not there to serve.

She is there to empower.

She knows that those precious children will grow up. That she has done her job when they can take care of themselves. Because they do not belong to her. They belong to themselves. They have their own inner being. Their inner being is wise. Their inner being knows what is best for them.

Just as she has her own inner being. And she trusts her own inner being. And the way her children learn to trust their own inner being is by witnessing their own mother trusting herself. And by their mother having confidence in then. And trusting them.

These precious children of ours are not helpless little people that we have to teach and mould. They are more powerful than we can ever imagine. They have chosen us as their mothers and fathers. They have come here to teach us more than what we can teach them.

Yes, we need to teach them how to drive and how to how to use cutlery. But, they have so much more to teach us. And when we stop and pay attention to what they have to teach us, our lives become richer than we could ever imagine. When we give them the respect that is theirs and treat them like the equals that they are, we learn more about parenting than we would ever do if we spent out time worrying about them stepping on a bee by running barefoot on the grass.

To be a peaceful mother is to just let go. Chill out. Relax. Have fun. Play.

It is to stop trying to control our children and to just let them be. It is to let them make mistakes. It is to let them trip and fall. It is to tell them that we trust that THEY know what is best for them.

And mean it.

Just leave your children alone for a bit. And see the peace within you arise.

Blessings to you.

3 comments:

  1. Your words are always so wise and comforting Ola. It has been difficult in home lately with behaviour, terribly stressful perhaps I need to step away just a little more and see what happens. I do know that I need to chill and relax some more and that would only be positive for all of us I think. Thank you always for sharing with us such beautiful words. xx

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  2. I'd actually like to see more peaceful mothers these days. Most mothers don't have patience with their children and they yell and curse them out. They do everything that a parent is not suppose to do.

    Thank goodness your at peace :)

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  3. "That she is not there to serve.
    She is there to empower."

    Excellent excellent!

    "Just leave your children alone for a bit. And see the peace within you arise."

    I'm working on this more and more. ;)

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